Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We are all done wearing pants today
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
