I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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