Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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