marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
