Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
