your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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