Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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