if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
