What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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