I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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