I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
