you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This is my gift to your gina
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
