She is in my trunk
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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