I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
