Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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