You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
