Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
