successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
