I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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