Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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