i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize