You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
