im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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