We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
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i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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