after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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