I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i've created a new STD.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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