I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
