people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
