I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
