Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
