Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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