She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
