I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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