What a fucking waste of an outfit
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
