i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars