i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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