am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
