I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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