xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
