dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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