I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize