I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
