she looked like the before picture.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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