i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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