white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
