he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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