dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize