Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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