so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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