he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
