On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
