do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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