How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
