i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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