Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
