After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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