Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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